06.04.08
Recognize Common Body Language Mistakes To Improve Your Dating Skills Instantly
I want to talk about body language mistakes that guy do constantly while interacting with women.
I’ll repeat it until it gets anchored deeply into your head. 93% of your actual communication is non verbal and so, body language is key.
You can see this all the time, be it in a bar or in a club. All the guys do it to various extents and the worse thing is, they’re not aware of it.
Here are the most common mistakes I encounter:
The Obvious Ones
Having a closed body language with crossed arms and legs standing together. It’s a clear sign that you’re worried that you’ll infringe on other people’s personal space.
Having a bad posture aka slouching. For some people it is as if they bear all the world’s burden on their shoulders. If you suffer chronically from slouching, you might want to take a look at specific therapies such as the Alexander techniques.
Taking yourself too seriously or acting too “sophisticated” by demonstrating fidgety movements and tight shoulders: In that case, it will be obvious to women that you are not relaxed and that you’re visibly self-conscious.
The Not So Obvious Ones
While having a drink, you hold your glass in front of your chest. Now you’ll say, “ok everybody does that!”. Agreed. Indeed everybody does this as it is an unconscious defence mechanism to protect the self. Remember that most people in those environments display a persona and their body language concedes it.
You move your hands around widely while you talk. It means you’re trying to keep the attention of the people you’re talking to. It sometimes can be cool. But most often it is a subtle sign that you’re qualifying yourself aka trying to get validation of the people you’re talking to.
You peck when you’re talking to a girl. It’s a sign that you’re too eager to talk. Hint: in a loud environment, make the woman lean in so that you can hear what she has to say. Very powerful.
A variation of this is turning your head or “snapping” when someone, especially a hot girl, addresses you. Picture this: you’re in conversation with a friend and suddenly a pretty girl taps on your shoulder and you turn to her in a millisecond. How does that look like? It definitely shows you’re too eager to be in conversation with the girl, to the point of forgetting your friend. Not cool. So, if your head is facing a direction, and a girl says something to you, turn it slowly to her – James Bond style – don’t snap it out of eagerness to hear what she has to say.
Facing your body and feet towards a girl too early. Now you may think that it’s the appropriate thing to do to face a person you’re talking to. But with a woman or anyone you just met, it’s a sign that you’re trying to gain rapport too eagerly. In some case that might even be uncomfortable for the person you’re addressing.
Be Conscious
I’ll give you an assignment for next time you find yourself in a social gathering or environment. Simply notice your posture and movements. Notice any tension that may arise in your body. Then take a deep breath and take up more space. This simple process should lead you into a more general relaxed state which is critical for having “good” body language.
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