10.22.08
She Cancels a Date. What To Do Now?
You’re probably familiar with the following scenario:
Let’s say you invite a woman to a glass of wine for Friday night. She accepts and you tell her that you will call her Friday morning for the details.
Then she calls you on Thursday to tell you she got an invitation from some other dude and that she cannot make it.
Hurt?
That’s the Game
It will happen. Women will simply fail to show up for dates. This will happen fairly frequently, and it’s just part of the game.
Here is what you should do.
If a woman breaks a date with you, and her reason is not incredibly convincing, you must immediately assume that she is not that interested in you.
If she calls and she leaves you a message just before, you call her back and say:
“Sally, I’m a little disappointed, I didn’t think you’d flake out an hour or two before we meet. But you know, I thought I’d give you an opportunity to make it up to me.”
Then shut up. The first person to talk loses. If she doesn’t apologize profusely and offer an alternate, you tell her:
“Well, I’m sorry things didn’t work out. Have a nice night.” Click.
If she no-shows and does not call you to apologize, the best thing to do is to flush her number and move on.
If you feel you need some explanation or it was too odd, call her and ask:
“Sally, I’m very disappointed. I didn’t think you were the kind of woman to disrespect me or my time so casually. Why didn’t you show up?”
Again, if there isn’t an incredibly convincing reason and an offer for a specific alternate, you tell her you’re sorry it didn’t work out. Click.
If you think the reason might be reasonable, you say:
“Well, I normally wouldn’t give someone a second chance when this happens, but I’ll tell you what, I’ll let you make it up to me. Where would you like to take me?”
She will probably respond to the challenge and offer an alternative. If it sounds good, you can choose to accept or counter-offer her.
If, after you offer your second chance, she gets indignant (“Are you kidding? Me take you? Listen here, buster …”), you cut her off and say:
“Sorry, Sally, it seems we’re wasting each other’s time. Good luck.” Click.
Or if she says she’ll call you back with an alternative, or says anything that is less than an eager reschedule, you need to cut her loose. She isn’t interested in you. Move on now, or waste more time, energy, and money.
Alternate scenario
Here’s an alternate strategy that I consider justifiable. If she no-shows you, she’s disrespecting you and perhaps testing you as well.
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Women frequently forget or fail to show up, and you shouldn’t take it personally, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t make it work to your advantage.If she no-shows, wait until the next day and then call her. (Do not call the same day; you’ll appear wimpy.)
Here’s what you say:
“Sally, I’m so sorry. I meant to make it to our rendez-vous on Tuesday. Things got crazy and I lost track of time. Let’s try to reschedule, okay?”
This can be left on an answering machine (preferably) or you can tell her directly. She’ll either admit that she didn’t show up, or she won’t. Either way, you get an indication of her integrity. It’s your call then as to whether you follow up and meet her.
Regardless of the situation, if a woman no-shows you twice in a row, you call her and tell her:
“Sally, I’m sorry you couldn’t make the meeting. I have a personal feeling about flaking and not showing up and I’m afraid I can’t meet with you for a while. Good luck.”
You’ll probably never hear from her again, and that would be for the best. If she treats you like this now, imagine how she’ll treat you later?
Once in a while you’ll get a genuinely repentant woman who really did like you but was flaky, and she’ll try to make it up.
The point for you is to retain your dignity and not let women affect your sense of self-confidence.
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